Bj's problem
by mywickedlyweirdnature
Summary: After another fight with Delia, Lydia finds comfort in her friend BeetleJuice who gives her a place to stay at the Roadhouse, but problems unfold one night...
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own BeetleJuice, Lydia, Jacques, Ginger, etc. Tim Burton, Warner Bros., and Nelvana do.

Okay…this is my first fic. If you like it, great. If not, hey, I get credit for trying to make you people laugh.

Background: Lydia is 18 years old and living with her parents while attending college. After a fight with Delia (whom we all know and love…to hate) she moves in with BeetleJuice until she can afford a place of her own. Meanwhile, BeetleJuice has some explaining to do…again.

Jacques walks into the kitchen to find BeetleJuice on the search for any bugs that might have alluded him. BeetleJuice looks up to see a fuming Jacques rapping his bony knuckles on the table.

BeetleJuice: "What's eatin you bonehead?"

Jacques: "You, of course. How could you tell Lydia zhat she could move here without asking moi?"

BeetleJuice: "Her step-mom was being an even bigger bitch than usual so I gave her a place to crash."

Jacques: "Ze decision is not yours Be-atlejoose! I care about Lydia too but if she is without assistance from her parents and as no job ow do you expect er to pay ze rent? It's not like you can help er. You barely ave enough to pay your own bills!"

BeetleJuice: "This doesn't concern you bone breath. I'll deal with it.

Jacques: "Your methods only make problems worse Be-atlejoose or ave you forgotten?

BeetleJuice: "I said this ain't got squat to do with you so put a lid on it."

BeetleJuice's finger tip lights up shooting a ray of lightning at Jacques whose mouth is instantly covered by a metal plate. BeetleJuice storms out slamming the door behind him. Ginger enters the kitchen after her tap-dancing practice.

Ginger: "What's going on in here? How am I supposed to practice my dancing with all of this yelling?

Ginger takes a look at Jacques who is still clearly furious, trying to pry off the metal lid.

Ginger: "I should've known. What did BeetleJuice do this time?

Jacques succeeds at long last to pry the metal off of his mandible.

Jacques: "We had annuzair argument and e stormed out. E's probably out getting drunk at some orrible night club.

Ginger: "Best let him cool off Jacques, you know he can't handle his own juice. Besides, now the place is peaceful."

Jacques: "Oui, Ginger but for how long?

Meanwhile BeetleJuice is downing a few cold ones at the local bar to let off some earlier acquired steam while explaining the scenario to the bartender.

BeetleJuice: "I mean what was I supposed to do, kick her ass out on the street? She's the best thing that's happened to that dump, you know what I mean?

The bartender nodded and BeetleJuice continued.

BeetleJuice: She's the only chick out there who actually got to know me instead of just blowin me off. So I helped her out of a jam. She'd've done the same thing for me, in fact she has. Those assholes kicked me out and she got em to take me back.

Bartender: Sound's like you've fallen hard for this Lydia chick.

BeetleJuice spits out the beer he had been draining across the bar.

BeetleJuice: What are you talking about? Me and Lydz! We're just friends…(feels butterflies in his stomach at the thought)…and that's all we'll ever be. She's still hung up on living guys.

BeetleJuice paid his tab and left. He began his solitary drive home, his mind buzzing with thoughts of the girl he now realized he cared for more than a friend.

BeetleJuice: "Oh Lydz when are you ever gonna give up on those living chumps and get a look at what's right in front of ya? How are we ever gonna have a chance if all you see me as is a ghost?

BeetleJuice was forcibly yanked from his reverie and forced to slam on the brake as the cars in front of him slowed to a stop due to traffic.

BeetleJuice: "Aww Hell! What now? Can anything else go wrong today? He growled impatiently. He wanted to get back and talk to Lydia, besides those beers were starting to affect him, adding a new problem to his never ending list of troubles.

(What goes up must come down and what goes in must come out. Bwa hah hah hah ha!)


	2. Chapter 2

One hour later and BJ's predicament had not improved. He was sick of sitting in this traffic, he was going to have to deal with Jacques when he finally got back, he wanted to talk to Lydia, and to top it all off he desperately needed to take a leak.

BeetleJuice: "Ohh man. I'll never drink again. He said as he bit his lip and gripped the steering wheel harder.

Thirty minutes later back at the Roadhouse, Jacques is watching Ginger perform her newly perfected tap-dancing when they hear the sound of rubber burning as a car slammed to a stop in front of the house.

Ginger: "Awww he's back and I was just getting into it. Ginger moaned in dismay

Jacques: "I promise Ginger zhat I will watch ze rest of your performance aftair I ave spoken with Be-atlejoose.

Jacques approached the door only to have it slammed into his face by a frantic BeetleJuice.

BeetleJuice: "Scummin through!" he yelled and flew up the stairs while Ginger tried to pry a lifeless Jacques off of the wall.

The bathroom door slammed against the opposite wall as BeetleJuice barged in only to freeze in mid-air at the site before him.

BeetleJuice: "LYDZ!"

Lydia screamed in shock and covered herself with a towel as BeetleJuice stood frozen to the spot, staring at the pearly-skinned beauty before him temporarily forgetting all ailments until the pain seized him more forcefully and he was reminded with vivid clarity of the fullness of his straining bladder. So close and yet so far. He crossed his legs and began frantically searching for an explanation to calm Lydia and get rid of her before sheer desperation caused him to forget her presence in favor of relief.

Lydia: What the hell do you think you're doing?

Lydia surveyed the ghost before her taking in the sweat breaking out across his forehead, his frantic movements, his crossed legs, and his clenched fists. He was biting his lip in pure agony. She realized that for once his intents and his hasty mistake were completely innocent.

BeetleJuice: "I had a fight with Jacques, got a few drinks, and then there was traffic, and ohh God Lydz I'VE GOTTA PISS.

He ducked around her and ran for the can as Lydia left closing the door behind her. Muffled moans of relief reached her ears and as usual she couldn't help but laugh at his antics. She found that she could never stay mad at him for long.

Several minutes later a more relaxed and considerably lighter BeetleJuice reappeared from the bathroom in search of Lydia.

BeetleJuice: "Oh shit. What am I gonna do now?" he wondered as he pulled at his hair. He hadn't meant to barge in but now that he had he couldn't shake the image of her from his mind. "What now genius?", he thought to himself as he knocked on her door and prepared himself for the wrath of the raven-haired beauty within.


End file.
